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A Tough Day

“My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother: For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck”

Proverbs 1:8-9.

Almost three months ago, Sonia Venegas, my mother had a heart surgery as per her doctor’s request. She was diagnosed with diabetes several years ago, and that turned into neuropathy a few years later. We all knew that this surgery will be very difficult and that it might have some complications, but she trusted in her doctor, and the procedure was made. Today, she died around 2:15 am. She was 57 years old.

The hardest part for a person that leaves his home country is to be far from his beloved ones. My relationship with my mom was not the best of the relations, but I loved her, and I know how much she loved me. She grew up as a Catholic, and died as a Catholic. Almost my entire family in Costa Rica practice Catholicism. She had strong convictions on her religion and sometimes agreed with what I teach or preach, but she always kept her position. She respected my decision to become a Christian and to dedicate my life to preach the Gospel. I respected her decision to remain Catholic. To write all of these is very painful for me, but I need to do it.

I loved her, and I will surely miss her. Almost two months ago, we were able to visit her in Costa Rica. I was told that she might not survive the night we were traveling there. But she did. Doctors said that most people do not survive what was done the previous night, but she did. We were able to visit her, to talk with her, and the next day, our last day in Costa Rica, I was granted the opportunity to be with her, to hug her, to kiss her, to feed her. I knew that could be the last time I see her alive, I knew that was a farewell. Indeed, it was. She was a brave woman, a very courageous person. As I already said, we had some conflicts and some of them were very difficult, but I loved her, and I know she loved me.

Less than two weeks ago, she had seizures that affected her brain a lot. Doctors decided to place her in an induced coma for three days. Yesterday, she was fighting with pneumonia. She fought hard, she really tried. I cannot imagine how difficult it was for my sisters to see her that way. I am thankful for my sisters, they were there when she needed them, and she was there all the time they needed her. They were taking classes on how to take care of her in the possibility that she could go back home. I did not have that chance, and I miss her greatly. She loved Jonathan, my son, with the same love she loved all her grandchildren, no matter the distance, when she was with him, she let him know how much she loved him.

I know several of my relatives might be commenting on how a bad son I am, because I left Costa Rica, and live as a “rich guy” (according to them) in Panama. What I have is the result of hard work and the blessings from God, but I am not a “rich guy”. I was not able to afford to send money to her, but, every time I visited Costa Rica I did my best to give her the best I can, and not only to her but the entire family. When she came to visit us, I did my best to give her the best, too. I did not want her to leave, but she was missing my sisters and my niblings, and returned to Costa Rica. I understood, and I let her go.

Today is a tough day. I know that this time, she departed forever. I miss her, more than words can describe. Even during our difficulties, she was there for us. During that last visit, she asked me to go to her house, to see her beautiful plants, her hens, and, of course, her grandchildren. I did not get to see the hens, it was dark by the time we got there. Days later, I saw a video of the hens and heard the voices of her grandchildren rejoicing by taking care of them.

She will be greatly missed. She helped as many as she could. She was a beautiful woman. She had a huge heart. She was very proud of all of her children. She loved us. She fought hard to be back home, to be with her daughters, with her grandchildren, with her plants and hens. She fought hard to see us again. She was a good fighter. She was brave. She taught us to be likewise.

My prayers are with my sisters, my dad, and the entire family.

“Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God. For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ”

2 Corinthians 1:3-5.

I am missing you already and will always miss you, mommy!

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